Tupac

"There should be a class on drugs, there should be a class on sex education (a real sex education), there should be a class on police brutality, there should be a class on apartheid, there should be a class on why people are hungry, but there's not there's classes on things like..gym."

The biggest sense of hopefulness in my life is that im only 18 and the saddest thought is that I am 18

hmm

I've been thinking a lot about art schools and different colleges and just my future in general. my mom is still being all pushy about my art and wants me to go to parsons so bad but designing/the art world is so competitive and i do it for me and no one else. I don't even share my work with anyone so yea but anyways after thinking about it all i was imagining how cool art school could be and figured i could maybe ease my way into the art world by displaying my artwork here and have enough people see it that I can handle rather than putting it on like tumblr and have hella people see it but like feel free to write feedback or whatever because i need some constructive criticism or some positive "hey i like this" because the only other person i hear from is my momma haha so this is me taking baby steps and expanding my horizon ok im done and here's somethings I've done this week.

inspired by beginners, I took a stab at pen doodling but fucked up a few because of the pencil i used not meshing with my ink well but actually i like the smudges they created together....and here's a sketch if sky ferreira im currently working on (but she's not apart of the pen doodles).

 

I dropped another hot potato whoops whadda ya know

because

September

um we're only 8 days into September but like hey heres a documentation. I like school a lot, my film class is like crazy cool and my teacher reminds me of ms. frizzle from the magic school bus. My music class is super small and really lovely. My professor loves me and yeah I like him too. Math is lame as always but its whatever. My love life is so weird right now hahahahaha I'm still talking to Linda and stuff but at the same time I'm still talking to Tamu. I still can't see myself in anything too serious because i'm not ready but eh who knows what may happen in a month. My septum is pierced and  i'm typing while still tipsy/hungthefuckover from last night with a headache out of this world so i'm gonna stop riiiiight here.

I don't know who I am anymore. I have this personality, and its fucked up, but it's me. and I see myself becoming this person who does the right thing and says the right thing but that's not me. 

when ya feelin real high yeeeah

unfinished

List of favorite songs ever:
1. Heroin - Velvet Underground
2. Dum dum - Vaselines
3. Devil Town - Daniel Johnston
4. Colour Me In - Broadcast
5. Little Wing - Jimi Hendrix
6. I Put a Spell On You - Nina Simone
7. Wannabe - Spice Girls
8. Picture Me Rollin & Dear Mama - Tupac Shakur
9. Letter to Hermione - David Bowie
10. Dumb - Nirvana
11. Oh Comely - Neutral Milk Hotel
12. The Falconer - Nico
13. Good Morning Heartache - Billie Holiday
14. Candle - Sonic Youth
15. Warpaint - Warpaint
16. Ana - Pixies
17. M.E.X.I.C.O.C.U. - The Kills
18. Indian Ocean - Minks
19. Space Oddity - David Bowie
20. Molly's Lips - Vaselines
21. Bad Romance - Lady Gaga
22. Runnin' - The Pharcyde
23. Hello, It's Me - Todd Rundgren
24. Walk on the Wild Side
(no order) (unfinished)

List of favorite albums of all time:

Nina Simone - I put a spell on you

loving someone
so much

update

• I'm 18
• I don't live with my parents anymore
• I have a twitter
• I have a tumblr
• I went on a date w a girl
• This is my last week of high school ever
• I have a job at a clothing store
• yeah i still like gaga
• I have an 8tracks account
• kreayshawn, lil b, danny brown, and puma follow me on twitter
• I cut my hair
• I still have a fb
• I have a crush
• and a drinking problem
• Amanda Bynes has lost her mind

hey blogger um i'm gonna try to make this as short yet detailed as possible..life..life has been ok. i mean i'm not crying everyday but i'm not jumping to the roof top w joy. i actually was in a bit of a horrible funk not that long ago. like stressed out to the point of throwing up every single day but i'm better i guess (since i'm not vomiting anymore). I spend most of my days at home doing nothing, watching old teen gurl tv dramas & weird movies & eating a lot. Over the past few months I've been listening to a lot of tyler mainly his old shit but when wolf was first released i listened to it on repeat for weeks UM lately i've been listening to the most random combination of artist like the cramps, hella spice girls songs, sonic youth, and the same fucking dinosaur jr. & billy joel song 4ever. I don't think i've ran into any new artist tho :c anywho about 3 weeks ago i went on a date w a cutie pa tootie which just so happens to be a girl LOL ok it was alright the date would have been better if i wasnt such a dumbass lol i still like her rn tho I don't live w my mom anymore bc yeah i'm better off not living w her rn. I've been so sad these past few days more so lonely and just in my head and blaaah ANYWAYZ i haven't watched any new movies but i totally just started watching the tv series arrested development and fuckin love it but other then these super minor events that have occurred in the past few months nothing else even remotely interesting has happened so yeah i guess this is it

oh god i'm so sad i'm narrating shit in my head like on my so called life or some other tween show

usually when i'm sad or happy or whatever I can find a song that is like my soulmate for the moment but i feel so strange right now I can't even find a song to blend with

Mellowhigh - Troublesome2013

ideal graduation presents:
1. an endless supply of marie calender chicken pot pies

2. grease on dvd
3. the complete series of tales from the crypt & sex and the city
4. vu & nico on vinyl
5. lots of random stickers

8th grade throwback videos lmao

ok so i finally figured out how to upload these super random, hilariously embarrassing, blast from the past and so in the spirit of throwback thursday i said what a perfect day to upload these babies and so here they be lol and REMEMBER i'm fucking 13 and i'm pretty sure erin and i were fucked up and about two of these lmao so don't judge my stupid immature behavior bc hey everyone is stupid at 13 lol

at the end of a good day i still feel miserable

whoa i almost deleted my tumblr i hated it so much but i'm okay now

relationships

i never know how to end things correctly like relationships should have an ending that is kind of beautiful considering you loved each other throughout most of it idk and every relationship or friendship or whatever type of "thing" i've ever had w/ anyone that actually meant something to me, was never ended properly or the way i would have liked it to. i never say goodbye, I never said anything at all. all i ever do is physically separate myself for the person. idk i guess endings are really just never good but it would be nice to end it all eloquently.

♥ BR00KE CANDY ♥

i love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love brooke candy

 

*******Throwback Thursday*******

lmao freshman year

sad

i think i'm the most unstable now then i've ever been and the most unhappy

I don't know if i'm suppose to go to college or not. i hate school but i halfway like the idea. i kind of want to just move but i know that takes time and idk i'm really confused w life at the moment.

GAH THROWBACK #2

THIS FUCK ASS WEBSITE WON'T LET ME UPLOAD MY VIDEOS so here are some embarrassing 8th grade throwback pics ENNNNNNNJOY :**

Throwback Thursday

While I was cleaning off my computer yesterday in an attempt to make things more organized for muhself, I stumbled across some hilariously embarrassing videos from my past (8th grade) so in the spirit of throwback Thursday, I figured hey! why not post them lmao so dont judge me and every time you get the urge to keep in mind that I'm 13 years old and stupid just like most of you were lmao enjoy

TUMBLA

I like my tumblr again it's all crazy and disorganized like me :-)

BOUGHT MY FIREFLY TICKET TODAY WOOOOOOOOOO

I'm working on balancing out my karma. I feel the cleaner your karma, the fewer lessons to learn, the fewer bad shit to happen and so I've taken a vow of positivity. Peace and good vibes to ya~

CHILDHOOD*FLASHBACK

DISNEY CHANNEL (90s)
So Weird
The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh
Famous Jett Jackson
Bug Juice
Out of the Box
Boy Meet World
Sister,Sister
Recess
Bear in the Big Blue House
Smart Guy
Gargoyles
Doug
PB&J Otter

DISNEY CHANNEL (00s)
Teacher's Pet
Proud Family
Kim Possible
Even Stevens
Lizzie McGuire
That's So Raven
Life with Derek
Phil of the Future
The Suite Life of Zack and Cody
Hannah Montana

CARTOON NETWORK (90s)
Dexter's Laboratory
Johnny Bravo
The Powerpuff Girls
Ed, Edd, n Eddy
Courage the Cowardly Dog

CARTOON NETWORK (00s)
The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

NICKELODEON (90s)
Are You Afraid of the Dark
Rugrats
Cousin skeeter
Hey Arnold!
The Ren and Stimpy Show
Catdog
Oh Yeah! Cartoons
Kenan and Kel
Rocket Power
The Wild Thornberry's
Spongebob Squarepants
The Amanda Show
All That
The Angry Beavers
Clarrisa Explains it all
Aaahh!!! Real Monsters
Blues Clues

NICKELODEON (00s)
Taina
As Told By Ginger
The Brothers Garcia
Caitlins Way
Danny Phantom
Drake and Josh
Slime Time Live
Unfabulous
Zoey 101

PBS KIDS (90s)
DragonTales
Sesame Street
Arthur
Magic School Bus
Barney and Friends
The Big Comfy Couch
Mister Rogers Neighborhood

PBS KIDS (00s)
Between the Lions
Sagwa, the Chinese Siamese Cat

Tyler, The Creator - Bimmer (Snippet) ft. Frank Ocean

Can't wait to bump bimmer in my Suzuki lmao golf wang

and we both lied there, as we knew this was the ending of something somewhat beautiful

"I was one of the insatiables. The ones you'd always find sitting closest to the screen. Why do we sit so close? Maybe it was because we wanted to receive the images first. When they were still new, still fresh. Before they cleared the hurdles of the rows behind us. Before they'd been relayed back from row to row, spectator to spectator; until worn out, secondhand, the size of a postage stamp, it returned to the projectionist's cabin. Maybe, too, the screen was really a screen. It screened us... from the world."

I'm literally doing everything in my power to keep my mind off of sex but sex is everywhere. I'm so beyond sexually frustrated that I can not begin to explaaaaain.

A$AP Rocky - Angels

10 GOLD CHAINZ WOOD GRAIN PRO PAANE

BLAh

I can't go too w/o making something or writing. I'll go crazy and everything in my mind gets all flustered and hectic and it feels like thousands of thoughts and ideas keep running wild all at once and i become filled w/ anxiety and then when i finally get it out I never feel like I've properly/fully expressed what it is that's been bugging me and so I feel a void I guess and idk why but everything in my brain goes insane. With that being said, I'm going to try to start getting serious about my artwork again because when I'm working whether it be playing around w/ filming, making silly little songs, or doodling it makes me happy and calms all the crazy chatter in my head for awhile. I can't help but feel that this is the way I'm going to feel for awhile, like there are so many things I wanna do that are not even remotely possible to do if I continue to stay here in easton. I just hope I can get out and get out soon bc living the rest of my days w/ a feeling so crucial will not be days well lived.

“Sex is not a goddamn performance. Sex should feel as natural as drinking water. It should not require confidence.
Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe. Ripening lips, ripening vagina, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.

You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh. It’s not about being “good in bed.” It’s about being happy.

One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.

What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you. Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.

Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be. I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.

I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want. It’s originality. It’s passion. It’s joy. Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.

I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.

“Good in bed,” what. You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you. Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel. This isn’t a test.”

DJ Screw - I Get Around (Digital Underground)

Still searchin for that sumthin

The Underachievers

2013 IS GOING TO BE A GOOD FUCKING YEAR OMG OMG IM SO EXCITED OMG FUCK

I'm not your fantasy flesh that fits like you like a tight glove.

Favorite Albums List (no order)

The Velvet Underground and Nico
The Fame Monster
Ready to Die
Desertshore
Enter The Vaselines
My Beautiful Twisted Dark Fantasy
Bizarre Ride II the Pharcyde
Reasonable Doubt
The Fool
Work and Non Work



This list is extremely unfinished. Just some albums that are very special to me that I've been thinkin a lot about lately.

Kitty Pryde

18 like a muhfucka

got some lean for my birthday ayuyuyye

Today is my last day of being 17 and I still don't know how to feel

well, I'm dead